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Italian American Heritage

Posted on October 1, 2010

When I made With Anchovies...Without Mamma, it was to be a film about family, and who we are without it, as well as film about culture and where we are without it. I intended it to be a piece that addressed both the part and the body. Mamma was something that helped me find catharsis in losing my Grandparents, as I knew that within the film I could speak openly and honestly about how desperate I felt my world was without them. As far as I always knew, they were me, and with them gone, I was forced to evaluate how to proceed with a life that just became alltogether strange. As always, their love, the love that I could feel despite their absence, helped me to find a way.

I have never been more comfortable in my life then the times I sat down for black coffee with my grandfather. It was a beautiful pause in the day to day chaos to listen to a man that had managed to filter out most of the bad in the world to speak only about the glory of life. He told so many stories that I wish were my own. During his stories, my grandmother would inject her natural brand of comic relief. My grandfathers patience and lyricism, accented by my grandmothers quick tongue and razor sharp sarcasm always made for the memorable. We would sit for hours. We would talk and listen, and never want to be anywhere else but right there. And then one day, that simply was not available anymore as time had turned its back. Life became filled with all the obstacles life brings, but without my grandparents I was too weary to fight them off . I could not find the time to talk, time to breathe, time to appreicate and understand what meant most, the way I did siting with my grams and gramps.

Soon I became aware of what was happening not only to me, but to the Italian American culture as a whole. Time is simply putting water in our wine. That which is most valuable to us is getting torn from our grasp. Why? Because we let it. My grandparents left me with enough love, and culture to carry on, yet I couldn't. Becasue I let the world get in the way. Then, I decided to fight a little more, and take it back bit by bit. Why? Because it was precious. Most people grow up not knowing anything about their heritage, but for me, to not know my heritage would mean not to grow up. It was part of everything I was and wanted to be.

Heritage is a strong word. It evokes thoughst of a tree centuries old with its roots deep in the earth. An ocean filled with the blood  of common bond. Heritage is the mirror that is around every corner showing us that true face that we sometimes forget or cover up. I am extremely proud that this weekend With Anchovies...Without Mamma is recieving the Italian American Hertiage Award at the Guild of Italian American Actors Film Festival. I had always hoped that in some capacity my voice would be heard by my Italian American peers. This is evidence that it has, and it feels very good.